備忘誌續篇
3月12日,陳耀宗在〈吉隆坡書店速描〉也有介紹孟沙(Bangsar)的Silverfish,指它“有點像中文出版界裏的大將書行及出版社“,我覺得它更像“老闆書店“。
去年在Silverfish買了一本Farish A.Noor的《From Majapahit To Putrajaya: Searching for Another Malaysia》,較后遇見老闆提起,他總是說:爲什麽不跟我買?我有折扣。
我,一度陶醉在穆斯林世界裏邊。最近重讀《From Majapahit To Putrajaya: Searching for Another Malaysia》其中的幾篇文章,除了不苟同他對母語教育的看法以外(覺得在這方面他瞞像一些英語圈精英一樣,存有先驗和經驗上的偏見),還是喜歡這本書。
閲讀這本書,對穆斯林世界多了一點認識,特別是穆斯林世界的幾位歷史人物,以及“馬來“短劍(Keris)如何從在馬六甲皇朝以前的印度-佛教文化影響下的豐富内涵,轉化成今日Hishamuddin Hussein在巫統大會上揮劍的“再封建化“(refeudalization)象徵——那是政客演繹民粹的馬來民族主義者的一貫花招。
在Silverfish看見這本書時,還以爲是Hishamuddin Rais的著述,從書名到書本的封面設計,都擬Hishamuddin Rais風格,不過作者這個人,還有該書内容性質與《Dari Jemanpuh Ke Manchester》這部電影和導演相比,當然是天差地北!
過去出席Malaysian Sociological Research Institute (MSRI)的活動時,在Alijah Gordon的住處(也是MSRI的辦公“處“)見過Farish A.Noor。
開始時覺得這個人有點像潘永強,總是端正不阿。不過現場看他聆聽“Ibu“ Alijah(他在書中是這樣稱呼她)發表看法的模樣,卻是一幅好孩子聆聽“嚴母“教誨的神情。再讀他這本書,稍微了解書中對“嚴母“與父親的描述和評價,似乎這位“嚴母“比他父親在他心中佔有的地位,是更高一點。
但從他在書中的敍述,他認識Alijah Gordon的時間不是很長:
“I met Alijah for the first time in 1997, at a gathering organized by the Malaysian Islamic Youth Movement (ABIM) on the Bosnian crisis. By then she was already wheelchair-bound but still an irrepressible chain smoker who lit a new cigarette before the previous one was out.“
Alijah Gordon還說過這樣一句話,“What we need now is an activist Islam, but where are the Red Islamists?“ 我特別記得。
而對父親Ahmad Noor,Farish A.Noor是如此敍述:
“But my father was my father only in the strictest biological sense. He belonged to that generation of men who believed that their work came first and that families – wives and kids – were secondary. It was not that he was a bad man in any way: it was just that he was simply not sensitive to the needs of wives and children and were not suited for married life. In the past I condemned him for that, but perhaps now I understand him better.“
而你,不也如此……
3月26日,公司搬遷,我現在非華人區鬧市的一棟大廈工作,旁有Jalan Munshi Abdullah。爲了對公司周遭多一層認識,我再讀Farish A.Noor那三篇談論Munshi Abdullah bin Abdul Kadir的文章。
進入4月,清明節。想起多年以前,在漁村長大的福氣。
他英年早逝。生前,他進進出出監獄好多次。鞭刑很難受,他挨得很辛苦,但出獄后,還是很快回到吸毒這條老路。
人家說入土為安,他可是帶著毒癮躺了下去,沒有妻兒,只有嫂子和侄兒為他送終。
這是沒有眼淚的葬禮。
靜默中,侄兒心底思念著另一個「他」——福氣的長兄,侄兒的爸。
「他」,早已帶著毒癮,入土為安。